Beating Heart

OK those of you who watch Gray's and Private Practice will know what I am talking about. So I was watching tonight, and when the little boy was dying, my heart actually hurt. When Bailey was telling the mother to hold him and tell him it was OK to go, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I guess that is what the love of this baby has done to me. I do cry a lot usually at many shows, but to actually not to be able to breathe. Wow. And then Private Practice had a baby that was going to be adopted and was born with a diaphramatic hernia, and the adoptive parents backed out because they couldn't handle the pressure of making the decision of what to do for the baby. I just thought about how very lucky we were that Karady was born with no defects and that she is perfect. Things can go so very wrong with births and it is a wonder that so many babies are born defect free. The birth mother decided to keep the baby then, but then reconsidered when the adoptive parents wanted to step back into the picture. It made me think about what our BM would have thought had we not stuck it out when we were going through the valley of hell. We showed her that we were there for her no matter what, even though things were falling apart all around us. I have read that indecision is OK and normal because it gives the birthparents time to heal and come to the right decision, and to see what is right for them.

I know I have thanked Tammi before but I would have never gotten through that day without her. She listened to me cry on the phone as my world was falling apart. THanks a million times.

Well enoughcrying for now.


TTFN